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Quirky
Festivals of the Florida Keys
Whether it’s playing music underwater
or parading down Duval Street
dressed in little more than body paint,
Florida’s offbeat island chain knows how to party.
A
flotilla of powerboats hovers above a Technicolor reef, tied together
like a fleet of mothballed warships. "We're almost ready," says Bill Becker,
who is in command of the lead pontoon vessel.
He turns his radio up a notch. "OK," he says. "Here we go." Becker signals
to the scuba divers waiting at the stern. One by one they step off the
side of the boat, plunging into the transparent Atlantic off Looe Key,
Fla.
There's a rush of bubbles, and then the water erupts in music. It's the
same sound coming through the boom box on the boat, except that the ocean
seems to distort the Jimmy Buffett cut being piped through a submerged
speaker. "You can't really understand it until you've experienced it,"
says Becker, a Florida Keys disk jockey with a sunburned face and a ready
smile. "Not until you've heard the music -- underwater."
Think the idea of tethering a couple of boats together and listening to
tunes while submerged is wacky? Try slathering generous amounts of fluorescent
body paint and sweating through the third-most famous parade in the world,
behind Rio's Carnivale and New Orleans' Mardi Gras parade. Or strapping
on enough leather to make the Terminator blush and motoring to Key West
on a Harley-Davidson.
The Florida Keys are home to a collection of the strangest festivals in
the United States. They range from the overexposed (just try to
get a hotel room in the Southernmost City the week leading up to Fantasy
Fest) to the obscure (Becker's Lower Keys Underwater Music Festival is
mostly an excuse for local residents to throw a party on their boats).
But they all have one thing in common - they are as quirky as this island
chain is long.
- Hemingway Days
Festival, which happens every July in the Southernmost City, is
more than just an opportunity to commemorate
Key
West's most celebrated writer. You'll also see hoards of Papa look-alikes
strolling down the streets of Key West - a surreal sight, to say the
least. Festival highlights include a marlin tournament, several raucous
parties, a key lime pie eating competition, and of course the now-famous
Hemingway look-alike contest. Why would anyone come to the Southernmost
City in the middle of summer to honor Papa? Here's a clue: many key
events take place at the author's favorite watering hole, Sloppy Joe's
Bar on Duval Street.
- The Key West
Poker Run in September is an excuse for thousands of motorcyclists
to invade the islands. They collect cards at one of five stops from
Miami to Key West and then "play" their hand. The event, which benefits
a children's charity, ends in (no joke) a lingerie show and tattoo contest
at the Schooner Wharf Bar in Key West. There's also a hog roast and
a "blessing of the bikes" on Sunday at Mallory Square. If you can't
make September's event, try coming back in March during Bike Week.
- Fantasy Fest,
which takes place in late October, is a 10-day extravaganza of costume
competitions, masquerade balls and street fairs that climaxes in a grand
parade through Key West. The big celebration, which is something of
a cross between Rio's Carnivale and a Halloween party, is the kind of
event where the bystanders are as interesting as the participants. Many
of the 60,000 or so Fantasy Fest revelers are typically covered in body
paint - and often little else - as they cheer on the caravan of costume
characters and floats. (Warning: Despite efforts by townsfolk to tone
down the parade, Fantasy Fest is something reserved for, er, more mature
audiences.)
- The Key Largo
Boat Parade in December, though not as big as those in Fort Lauderdale,
Fla., Annapolis, Md., or Hamilton Harbor in Bermuda, makes up for its
small size in its oddness. A parade of boats decked out in holiday lights
put-puts past an audience of mostly local spectators after nightfall.
But this is one event where more than your fair share of boats veers
off course - a bit too much eggnog, captain? - and holiday well-wishers
fall into the warm waters of the Florida Bay.
Or
just jump in. In years past, it's been the kind of event that residents
talk about long after the holidays are over.
- Conch Republic
Independence Day, or, to be more accurate, "days," is a string of
events that usually takes place in the week leading up to Mardi Gras.
The Florida Keys has declared its "independence" from the United States
at least twice in the last two centuries, and there are a number of
bizarre events meant to commemorate its sovereignty. The highlight of
an independence parade down Duval Street is a "battle" between the U.S.
Coast Guard and Conch Republic troops in which wet Cuban bread is used
as ammunition. Also on the agenda: a pirate's costume ball and pig roast.
- The Lower Keys
Underwater Music Festival in July, strange as it may sound, is more
than a chance to experience how water distorts Jimmy Buffett tunes.
The
event is also meant to help preserve the fragile coral reefs. From time
to time, the music is interrupted by diver-awareness announcements from
the Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary officials offering tips on
how to enjoy the reef without destroying it. But that's as solemn as
it gets. After the music ends, everyone heads back to shore for conch
chowder cook-off and a beer or two.
Becker admits that
the party didn't begin with any serious intentions. He says when he started
the festival, it was because he needed something to do during the off-season.
Listening to music underwater seemed "strange enough" to get people interested.
"There wasn't anything like it, and to the best of my knowledge there
still isn't anything like it," he says.
Down in the Keys, he's in good company.
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